PASSION IS SUCCESS
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My first question to you is, “How do you wake up in the morning?” Is it a case of opening your eyes, not feeling your best, groaning and saying to yourself, “Oh no, another damn day!” Or, do you jump out of bed, give your partner next to you, and the cat, a huge fright as you shout, “Yes! Wow, another amazing day. So much to do and so little time!” I take it that for most people, the first example is the norm. People just aren’t excited about life anymore. Just sit on the London underground and look at everyone’s faces. Too few smile. If you do smile at someone, odds are you will get arrested for being a public nuisance. It’s the same in the traffic in any city in the morning – just look at the faces of the people in the cars next to you – how many are smiling? It’s as if the majority of people today have lost the will to live and have fun in life.
Once many years back, I actually met someone who had passion. I was sitting in the peak hour morning traffic on the M25 around London, when the man in the car next to me suddenly held up a board which read, “Hi, great morning, isn’t it?” In fact he had a whole conversation with everyone around him using these boards. He had found a way to make the traffic fun!
As an inspirational speaker I find it very worrying that there are so many passionless people out there. I have conducted much research as to why people don’t live life to the full, and trust that my insights will help you discover your passion once more.
I am constantly reminded of a saying by an unknown author:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Isn’t that so true? The older we get, the faster time seems to go? Even the children of today are commenting that their days fly by. Surely then, if this is the case, why doesn’t humanity make the most of every moment they have, seeing that it all goes by so fast?
My aim today, is threefold. Firstly, I want to identify what passion is, then explain why the majority of people have lost it, and finally share with you how you can discover your passion again.
WHAT IS PASSION
I have found the following definition on the net, and curiously enough some examples say it is Cher’s definition, while others claim it belongs to Madonna. Either way, this is what one of these ladies have to say, when asked how they would define passion:
“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
However, that’s not quite the passion I am talking about! It is that drive and lust for life that is important to me. It’s what makes you smile when things aren’t going your way.
Next step was to look at the Oxford English Dictionary definition:
Passion: “a strong feeling, or enthusiasm.”
I have always said that I love life, and feel that love and passion are closely linked. Hence I checked out the definition of love as well.
Love: “have a strong affection, or deep tender feelings for.”
Isn’t that interesting? Both definitions are pretty similar. The bottom line here is that love and passion are closely linked. They feed off each other. Think about it for a moment. If I am in love with someone, passion always forms part of that relationship. If I am passionate about a sport or hobby in life, I really love doing it. In the same vein, have you ever met someone really successful, who seems to be having fun at their job? Ask them why they do it. Odds are that they will reply, “It’s my passion, I absolutely love it!”
You will notice that these people also never see their careers as work, but as an extension of themselves. They don’t work nine to five, but rather 24/7, 365. They don’t need a vacation, as what they do, is so inspiring for them, they never get tired.
As a keynote speaker and entertainer, people often ask me whether I get nervous on stage, or tired of traveling around the world. Huh? Why? I love what I do! If you didn’t quite get what I mean, I’ll repeat it for you, “I love what I do!” Even though there have been tough times, and times when the work wasn’t plentiful, I always have fun. I have often said, “I cannot believe that people pay me to have fun!” I firmly believe that this is a philosophy which everyone can have… if they truly love what they do.
This we will identify as the final chapter in this book. But first and foremost, as with any problems in life, one must identify the root, or cause of the problem, and ask ourselves, “Why have we lost our passion?”
WHY HAVE WE LOST IT?
This is not an academic thesis, hence I will not become long winded and share ten different schools of thought based on various hypotheses! I could… but I won’t. In a nutshell, most people have lost their passion due to expectations!
That’s it, there is no more to it. It’s as simple as that!
Expectations are the root of all problems!
We live in a society of instant gratification and expectations. What do I mean? Think about it… few people do anything today without expecting something in return. I work because I expect a salary. I ask someone out on a date because I expect (hope) to have sex. I make an appointment with a potential client, because I want (expect) them to buy my product. I will pick up your children from school because I expect you to do the same for me next week. I’ll do the dishes for you tonight honey because I expect some action in the bedroom later. When I am born and I scream as a baby, immediately I must get milk or have my nappy changed… instant gratification.
Get the point? Too few just do things out of the kindness of the their heart. It’s all about, “What’s in it for me?”
Don’t get me wrong, there are many people who don’t follow the above example – but, those are the passionate ones! Those are the people that are enjoying their life and living every moment to the full.
I am merely trying to answer the question for you personally, why the passion has gone. Think about it, we have been brought up and conditioned in a society where ‘expectation’ is the norm. As a child you were conditioned to behave. If you behaved, you got things. In school we were taught to learn and pass our grades. In return we received our diploma. Then we had to study at university to get a degree, so that we could get a good job, etc. Expectations, expectations, expectations!
We have been intrinsically conditioned to expect. But, and it’s a big BUT, in reality things do not always work out the way we expect! That’s when disappointment takes over and we start losing the zest and passion for life. If you really think about it logically, it’s a system that is bound to fail.
Add to this, the greed of big business corporations and the manipulation of the media. What chance do you have to be positive? Take the media reporting on an accident. The front page headline reads:
2 KILLED IN HORROR CRASH
A typical headline. Sensationalist, negative and attention grabbing. That same headline could read:
AMBULANCE HEROES ARRIVE IN UNDER 2 MINUTES
This is more positive and instils hope. But, according to the majority of journalists, it won’t sell. It’s not sensationalist enough. I have constantly challenged the press and media on the above, and maintain that if they only put the positive spin on any story (every story has two sides), within three weeks the entire city, or country will have a more positive attitude.
If you think I am being unrealistic, just read the first three pages of any newspaper. It’s all about politics, politicians and their antics. 90% of what is written will never come to pass, but it sells! Take a society magazine reporting on celebrity lifestyles… I cannot believe that people actually read such rubbish. Then they wonder why they are negative. Hello… smell the roses.
People actually try to emulate well-known personalities who are so screwed-up in their heads, simply because the media gives them attention. I will never understand this. Take a popular American pop star who shaved all the hair off her head. This woman, in my opinion, is a nutcase. Do you have any idea how many people copied her? And it didn’t stop there, she still has a huge following today. Huh? And all these people wonder why their lives are not working out.
How many women try to have Barbie doll figures? Why do you think you still see weight loss adverts constantly on television? In fact, a researcher did a study, and concluded that if any woman did have a Barbie doll figure, her back would break. It wouldn’t be able to support her chest!
Recently, a stepson of a celebrity committed a crime. What did the press do? There were headlines nationwide with the celebrity’s name in big print, about the crimes of a stepson which he hadn’t seen or heard of in years. Whose name sold the paper? Whose name was damaged in the process?
Enough, I am sure you get the gist of what I am saying. Vulgar and perverse are the operative words here. It is perverse that the media and society has dictated how we need to feel and think. Occasionally there is an exposé about something bad that has happened. In many cases it is an eye blind and just leads to more problems. A great example is the 2009 recession. Governments worldwide cried wolf and claimed that excessive debts and too much credit was partly to blame. And everyone accepted that they were also to blame because of excessive debts.
Once again, the blame had been shifted to the people. Let me ask you a question and I want you to think about it carefully. Try to come up with your own answer. Name the one organization/company in the world, or your own country, that is totally useless? In other words, it doesn’t generate any income whatsoever. It merely spends, and most of the time cannot do that efficiently either.
Got the answer yet? The government!
Interestingly enough, years ago no-one got the answer immediately. Today if I pose the question to a live audience, the answer is shouted out unanimously and instantly!
Back to the debt problem. Where does a government get its money from? The taxes which you and I pay. They will only get taxes from you if you work and earn money. You will only work to earn money if you have debt (mortgage, car, etc.) If you have no debt, you don’t have to work. Please understand that I am not being anti-government here, but am merely trying to put the economics of everything into perspective.
Back to the above recession scenario. The governments blame excessive debt as the problem. Who is it that wants us to have debt so that we must work and pay taxes? The government! Yet via the media, they want to shift the blame to the masses. Get my point? Many governments have now implemented ‘Credit Acts’ to legitimize these claims and ‘protect’ the consumer. Interesting… the banks are still giving out loans, cars are still being sold and all these people are still making profits.
Now you want to know why you wake up depressed and are no longer passionate about life? I trust I have highlighted an angle, and made you realize that humanity is completely controlled and manipulated by ‘the powers that be.’ Unfortunately, not everyone has the will, or insight to realize this, and hence they fall into the rat race. The rat race is dominated by fear, and it is this fear that also breaks us down.
Remember, that even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat!
Look at children today. When I was a child I always ‘wanted’. I wanted a sweet, I wanted a new train set. Listen to the kids today and how they speak to their parents. They no longer ‘want’ they ‘need’! If you have your own children, listen to them and you will see that it is all about ‘needing’. I ‘need’ money for the tuck-shop at school today. Listen to them, and you will see that I speak the truth. This is how the media have brainwashed the youngsters of today.
I need! If I don’t get it, my need has been denied. That’s far worse than a ‘want’ being denied! Get my point?
We have been conditioned not to understand the difference between ‘pleasure’ and ‘joy’ anymore. In fact, the media has made everyone believe that these two terms are identical, when if fact they differ hugely.
It is once you understand the difference between these two concepts, that you can begin re-discovering your passion.
Pleasure is derived from things outside ourselves – materialism. It is temporary. What is pleasure today can be sorrow tomorrow.
Joy arises from within ourselves and is a state of consciousness. It is giving attention. Ask yourself – whatever you are doing, is there lightness, laughter, ease in what you are doing right now. If there isn’t, then you are living in future or past time, but not in the present moment. To find JOY, realize, it is ‘HOW’ you do things.
A person who is passionate and has a love for life, experiences joy in everything that they do.
It is important that you understand that ‘temporary’ things cannot bring you joy, but only pleasure for a limited time only. Here are some temporary things in life: Car, home, computer, PSP, eating out, spouse and children.
What! How can my spouse and children be temporary? Of course they are. One day your spouse will die and you will be left alone. The same applies to your children. They will grow up and leave the house. The times you spend with them are defined as the ‘pleasure principle’ and that applies to all the fun things you do. You derive pleasure at that moment.
Joy does come into the picture, only if you create memories with your spouse and children. One day when you retire and think back on your life, what will your memories be? The first car you bought, the newest quad-core computer system you had to take out a loan for? I doubt it. The memories of joy you will have, will be that first kiss, the first steps your child took.
Most people run around so much in the rat race, they only have time for ‘quick fixes’ and instant gratification. They forget to live and create lasting memories which will bring joy. Can you sit quietly in a room with your spouse and do and say nothing… and enjoy every moment of it? Most people cannot do this! They need to make that moment ‘pleasant’ by doing something. This is what society and the media has taught them. Why do you think your parents said to you as a child, “I cannot believe how quick you are growing up!”
The person who understands the concept of joy, can however savor the presence of their spouse in that moment. They can be content in the fact that they are simply sharing the same space, and each others company. They can appreciate the deeper spiritual meaning of that moment and keep it as a good memory. Someone once said, “The simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child, did wonders for me as an adult.” Isn’t that what it’s really all about?
Here are some thoughts by an unknown author which puts it all into perspective:
Today we have higher buildings and wider highways, but shorter temperaments and narrower points of view.
We spend far more, but enjoy far less.
We have bigger houses, but smaller families.
We have more compromises, but less time.
We have more knowledge, but less judgement.
We have modern medicines, but less health.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk way to much, we love only a little, and we hate too much.
We have reached the Moon and come back,
but we find it too difficult to cross our own street and meet our neighbors.
We claim to have conquered outer space, but not our inner space.
These are times with more freedom and liberty, but less joy….
We have higher incomes, but less morals….
We have much more food and a larger variety of foods , but less nutrition….
Today… two salaries reach home, but divorces increase.
These are times of finer, bigger and more expensive houses, but more broken homes.
And let’s not forget, we have been conditioned to pass the blame onto others, whether it is the previous government, our parents, or our school. Very few people actually take responsibility for their actions. If you don’t believe me, just look at any politician being interviewed on television. It’s always someone else’s fault. They condition everyone else to pass on the blame. Something goes wrong at work, who gets the blame?
It is very rare to see someone own up and accept the blame themselves. When it does happen, it comes as a shock to everyone around them. Huh? And I am not just blaming politicians here. Look around you, your social circle, work colleagues, even your children.
We have been brought up in a society where no-one wants to accept any blame for their mistakes. The greatest example is when people give money to invest in companies. Something goes wrong, like a market crash, and the blame is shifted to others. Here’s a tip for you…
The people who really make money are those that inform themselves about investing. Instead of watching sport, or TV every night, they actually educate themselves about the financial markets. Within a short space of time they understand it, and are in control of all their own investments. Remember, as long as you let other people invest your money for you – you will never make any real profits.
There are commissions and costs that must be deducted. You get what’s left… if you are lucky. Take the responsibility yourself. It’s much more satisfying when you are in control of your own destiny!
Bottom line, unless YOU accept full responsibility for your own life and everything that has and will happen in the future, you will never find joy and passion.
If anything, YOU MUST first accept full responsibility of your own life.
In order to do this and find your passion again, there are a number of things you need to understand.
WHERE DO I FIND MY PASSION AGAIN?
In your own life:
The most important issue, is that you have to accept what has happened in your life up to today. Until you have reached that point, you cannot move further. Accept that what is done is done, and that the past cannot be changed. Also, accept that the world happens to work the way it does, whether you agree with everything or not.
You cannot change the world, BUT – you can change one person through your behavior towards them, and via the snowball effect, they will in turn affect others positively.
This can be done by following a few simple principles.
Firstly, learn to love! Above all, learn to love yourself and accept who you are as a person. Stop comparing yourself to what society says you have to be. You will never be content or happy within yourself if you try to be like everybody else. Become aware of how society is conditioned. I call people, ‘Sheeples’. Why? Because they follow others and copy what everybody else does. Isn’t that what sheep do?
Become aware of how the media and society control your thinking. Some things you may agree with, others not. But make sure you know the difference and negate all the negatives in your life.
Earlier I mentioned that it is expectation that breaks down our passion. Hence, when learning to love again, practice ‘Unconditional Love’. This stems from within and is all about 100% giving. In other words, whatever you do in life, do it with purity of thought and from the heart. Of course this is not always easy… or is it? You will find that there are some things that are not easy to do like this, and others are. Interestingly enough, you will discover that the easy things, are those that you have an affiliation to. In other words, things you enjoy.
There is no way that anyone can be happy and content if they do things they do not enjoy. I have met so many people stuck in jobs they hate, and the day they retire they start enjoying their hobby. A few years down the line their hobby has become a booming business and they are happier than ever before. Unfortunately many die soon afterwards as well, due to ill health and age. The moral of the story: In their old age they found what they really wanted to do, while they lived an entire life of unhappiness.
If you really enjoy something, do it. Yes, it may well be tough in the beginning, but at least you are enjoying life. Look at it this way. As a child I was an amateur magician, and loved doing tricks. When I finished school I wanted to become a professional entertainer, much to the dismay of my family. I gave in and studied my degree and tried the nine to five career move. I hated every minute and held out for four years. Eventually my conscience made me leave the secure job only to end-up walking the streets of London, looking for gigs as a magician. Two years later I was leading a life of luxury on cruise ships. Eight years later I had seen the entire world and made loads of money.
Not because I was the best, but because I loved what I was doing. Putting in 18 hours a day, 24/7 was not even a question to me. I enjoyed what I did. The biggest drawcard was that everyone around me saw that I loved what I did, which made me ‘appear’ to be better than the other magicians. People saw my excitement – it rubbed off onto them. Who do you think people would rather deal with? Someone with a long face, or someone who radiates passion? I trust I have made my point. It’s a win win situation, everyone that dealt with me was happy, and so was I.
I do not see myself different to anyone else, except for one thing… my attitude. You just need to change your mind set and have the right attitude and the world is at your feet.
However, the most important point of all… unconditional love. Where does that fit in? When you are doing what you enjoy and love doing, you do it because you want to. You do it because it gives you internal satisfaction. Whether you make money from it or not, is not the driving the force. The driving force is the enjoyment of it. Therefore, you do it without expectation, in other words, unconditionally.
You do it without any expectations. Hence, you cannot be disappointed, as there is no ulterior motive. But, the laws of the universe work in such a way that because you have this attitude, it will send everything back your way. And because you had no expectations, it becomes a surprise and makes you more positive.
There is a great saying:
“A person’s true character is revealed by what he does when no one is watching.”
Are you a different person when no-one is watching? Then you are not following your passion in life. I trust that makes sense.
In the same vein, another great saying goes:
“If you tell a lie, don’t believe it deceives only the other person.”
In other words, if you lie to yourself, it deceives you as well!
So imagine (in the words of John Lennon) for one moment that everyone in the world gave out of pure unconditional love, without expectation… don’t you think the world would change overnight? And it can happen. It all starts with you!
Expanding on the above, I am sure you must be familiar with the concept that your body listens to your thoughts. What you think, you are! If you are negative and down, your outer self image shows it. Look at people around you and try identify their moods. It becomes quite easy after a while. When others see you, do they see a positive or negative person? You can try hide it, but it doesn’t work. Your internal thoughts always show in your outer body language.
Thus, even if you lie to yourself and attempt to display a positive self image, it doesn’t work. The real you lies in your subconscious mind, and try as you want, you cannot deceive it. It is imperative that you are brutally honest with yourself and identify the true inner you. Only then will true happiness follow.
There is a great saying, “The best way to keep something is to give it away to others!” However, this does not specifically refer to materialistic items! It is about everything around you. If you give out love, love will come back to you. If you give out hatred, it too will overrun your life.
Attaching yourself to past events, or bad experiences leads to imprisonment and totally limits your possibilities. You are doing yourself great damage by holding onto the past. Remember that nothing in life is permanent. If you hold onto loved ones, money, lifestyle etc. you are attaching and limiting yourself. By living in the moment and savoring every minute of your life you start understanding the concept of happiness:
Living with a belief in a future heaven, only creates a present hell.
Most people live in the past, or the future. Please bear in mind that NOTHING has ever happened in the past or future. Anything that is going to happen to you is going to happen now! Let me explain. The past you cannot change, what happened then is over. There is nothing you can do about it. You can plan for the future, but that’s tomorrow. It is not now. And when you reach tomorrow, then that becomes now.
Living fully in the now, makes every memory of yesterday a good one and hence makes the future look more positive.
How do you identify whether your are living in the past or future? Easy. If you are suffering from anxiety, stress, unease and tension, you are living in the future. If you are suffering from guilt, regret, grief, sadness and bitterness, then you are living in the past.
Fair enough, it’s easier said than done. But ask yourself, “Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?” If it won’t matter in the future, then drop it!
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
To many people it means something negative, i.e. giving up. Failing to rise to the challenges of life! That is totally wrong! The true meaning of surrender can be defined in two sentences:
* Yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life, i.e. accepting what is happening without judgement or resistance.
* By surrendering, you end the continual assessing of your mind, i.e. your mind no longer controls you and is no longer your master.
It is therefore who you truly are – it is a state of being! In this state you WILL clearly see what has to be done. It is NOT being cut off from your feelings, but realizing with deep inner peace, that what is done, cannot be undone. In other words, we constantly fight against what is going on in the world by becoming aggressive, depressed, moaning etc. This causes us to become negative and subjective, resulting in our actions being emotion driven.
By surrendering yourself to the fact that this is the world you live in, with all its problems, and accepting this, you no longer fight against it and become internally angry. Rather you can now put yourself outside the situation and look at everything objectively, rather than subjectively and realistically decide what role to play in order to begin making a positive difference.
A classic example here was Mother Theresa. She refused to take part in a march against war. The whole concept of war has a negative vibe. Rather, she would take part in a peace march. Why? Peace is more tranquil and sends a message of peace, rather than a message of war. By surrendering, your approach to negative things becomes more positive.
Therefore, when you surrender – you find joy! When Joy comes – unconditional Love comes.
Let us look at a typical example in the work place. The majority of people today work in to pay bills and survive. No matter how I try to put things into perspective and try and make you follow your passion, there will always be those of you that won’t change and follow your heart. There is nothing I can do about it. I must surrender myself to this fact. However, that doesn’t mean that I should give up and not try, as there will always be those of you that actually follow through with these life lessons I am imparting. That alone is more than enough reason for me to do so.
Therefore, those of you who do not enjoy work and have issues with work colleagues, remember the following points:
“That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.”
“Opportunities are never lost, but someone will take the ones you miss.”
“People don’t injure their eyesight by looking at the bright side of things!”
If you are in a leadership position at work, remember that successful leaders…
* Understand the values of him/her and other teams, which in turn brings compassion to the workplace.
* Changes his/her perspective which creates more allowances for each other.
* Creates a feeling of consensus, thus binding the organization together in remarkable ways.
* Practice living from the good values in the workplace, which in turn brings out the best in your team at all times.
I am pretty much going to spend the most part sharing lessons which each of us can practice and learn within our family environment. My focus is on the children. The reason being that they have not yet been influenced by the media and society as much as the adults. If you want to see passion in action, look at a six year old child. Everything that is new they tackle with excitement. If you have your own children, you will relate immediately to my next point. Have you ever told your child that you are taking them to a theme park over the weekend? The days preceding the visit, what happens? The child asks every day how many sleeps still to go. They bounce up and down and get so excited. Same applies to the days before Christmas. Children show their excitement. Do you?
Basically, I want you to rediscover your passion through children. After all it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. And when you have children – there are many such happenings. They can teach us many things.
Firstly, everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
Secondly, you should never say, “No” to a gift from a child.
But let me backtrack a little, why is it that this excitement and passion disappears in children? I would like to answer this with a question. Do you remember when you were naughty as a child? What did your parents say to you? How did they scold you?
I bet it was something like this… “Wait until you grow up one day and become an adult, then you will see how tough life really is!”
Does this ring a bell? How many times did you hear it? Even worse, how many times have you said it to your own children? By saying stuff like this you are breaking down a child’s passion for life. What do they have to look forward to in adulthood if all they hear how terrible it is. And then we wonder why the youth is so weird today!
Keep that magic going for as long as possible. Take a simple thing like believing in Father Christmas. I know people who told their children right from the word go that there is no such thing. This saddens me immensely – how do those children experience Christmas? The childhood fantasy land is where we build our creative thinking and visualization – it’s the stuff that makes us dream when we are adults. At the time of writing this book my daughters are eleven and thirteen. Peer pressure has now made them realize that there is no Santa Clause. But, this is how I explained it to them.
I told my girls that although the Santa one sees in films and on cartoons at the North Pole may not be real – the ‘spirit’ of Christmas is. Each one of us can be Santa. Me, your mom, your aunt, your grandmother. It’s by all of these people doing nice things and buying you gifts because they love you – in this way they carry on the Christmas spirit. Right now, I am Santa. One day when you are older, you will in turn do this for others.
At first, part of being Santa was keeping the illusion alive for younger siblings. I got to stay up late and wrap presents and fill the stocking. It meant drinking the milk and eating the cookies left for Santa. As I grew older, the Santa spirit grew. At university, my dorm mates and I played Secret Santa’s, delivering little gifts to each other during finals week.
Later in life, I’d drop off Christmas cookies to the nearest fire or police station on Christmas Eve. You can be Santa while shopping – whistling Christmas carols, wear bells that jingle, smile at those you pass – be patient with clerks. I hope my Santa spirit will be with me throughout the year, and that others will find the same joy that comes from being Santa Claus.
My girls are completely happy with that. Although my youngest definitely still believes in fairies. Why should I stop her – she’s the most creative person in the family. Taking away fantasy makes humans hard and cold. Just look around you at those people that have a passion for life. They are dreamers, they have fun.
A few years ago I came home from a road show which I was emceeing and speaking at. My wife had been with the girls for over two weeks and wanted a break. As I walked into the door she gave me a shopping list and told me to take the girls with – she needed a break. What about me? Nevertheless, off I went, girls in hand. The shopping mall we were in happened to have some face painters strutting their stuff. Naturally my two girls loved this and pleaded to have their faces painted too! The more I resisted, the more they pleaded, bouncing up and down and not stopping.
To keep the peace, I gave in. Well, as soon as their faces were painted, they beamed. Everyone we walked past they smiled at and made sure people saw their colorful faces. They had fun. They laughed and made others laugh. They made me glad I had given in. That night back at home in the bath, they didn’t want to wash off the paints.
Here now, my question to you. “Would you have your face painted in a shopping mall?” I guess not! I mean, what will the other shoppers think? What if someone you know sees you? Won’t they think you’ve gone nuts?
What a silly notion to even suggest such an idea!
Are those your reactions? I assume they are. Last year at a conference I mentioned this story and as it turned out, two months later I bump into two ladies that had attended my talk. They came rushing up to me giggling, saying that they had taken my advice and actually had their faces painted. They just wanted to thank me, because that had been the best day of their lives. They laughed, joked and spoke to so many people – it was refreshing. In fact the same evening they visited a friend in hospital, and the medical staff didn’t want them to leave, as they were cheering up everyone.
These two women had learnt a fantastic lesson. Let loose once in a while and discover your passion again. Don’t be afraid of what others think. You are not hurting anyone, or doing any harm. You are merely having fun. We just don’t play enough as adults.
On that note, let us talk about play. That’s something we stopped doing as teenagers. Play as an adult is cuddling with your spouse and maybe tickling each other. But unfortunately that also doesn’t last very long. Usually only the courting phase. (I suggest you read my book, ‘The Art of Romance’, if that’s the case.)
However, we NEED to play as adults. A barbecue and getting sloshed doesn’t count! Being silly and visiting a theme park is a start. But, in reality, the only adult play there is, is sex! That’s the only time you get to fantasize, be creative and playful. So stop doing it under the sheets with the lights off! Learn to communicate and have fun. Many sex therapists say you should laugh during sex… after all, it’s funny!
Bottom line, stop working nine to five, being stressed and moaning about life. Take time to ‘play’ and enjoy your life. That’s the only way the passion is going to come back.
If you have fun and your children see you as a loving, touchy couple that still looks in each others eyes and laugh together, don’t you think you are laying the foundation for your child to became a similar adult when they grow up?
By laying the correct foundations for your children now, you are ensuring that there will be a magical future world for our youth.
Finally, I want to share a few tips about finding love again. After all, what’s the point of saying that we have to practice unconditional love and follow our heart in life when one doesn’t know where to start searching for love.
Besides being honest with yourself and looking within, once again children can teach us many lessons about what love truly is. Their definitions are so simple, yet so to the point. Some should bring a tear to your heart and make you realize just how much love there is to give.
Here is what youngsters have to say when asked how they define love:
“Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way.”
Isn’t that so true! Think about the first time you met your partner… it was infatuation. Everything was beautiful. You only saw the positive. Hence that saying, ‘Love is blind.’ Similarly, the first day you got that new job. In the beginning it was a challenge and adventure all in one. Now that you are used to it, it has become a rut? Therefore, if you have lost that initial ‘infatuation’ feeling, think back of that time and how it felt – this can bring the love feeling back again.
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”
Whatever you do in life, do you do it unselfishly? Do you carry on and try, even when it becomes difficult for you? When you love something, or someone purely, then this is exactly how you will behave.
“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
Wow! This is so powerful. Think about your customers and clients. Do they feel comfortable and safe in their dealings with you? Do you radiate a confidence and passion for what you do that attracts them to your business? Do they spread the word about you by word of mouth? Do you find they enjoy spending time in your presence and buy from you rather than your company? If you can answer ‘Yes’ to these questions, only then can you confidently know that your passion is coming through to your customers.
“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
I just had to throw this one in, it’s cute. On a deeper level though, do you, and do your customers enjoy spending time with you? Do they feed off your knowledge and passion? Think about it!
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs,”
or “Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.”
This is exactly what true love and passion is about. Do you do what you do in life unconditionally without expecting anything back in return. There is the story of a builder who was close to retirement. His boss asked him to build one last house. As he was near retirement, he didn’t really feel like the task and did a rush job, cutting corners, using sub-standard items. Eventually when he completed the house, his boss turned around and gave him a set of keys saying, “Here are the keys to your house, it is a retirement present for all the great work you gave us during your career.”
Sad if you think about it, the builder ended up living in his own sub-standard house. No-one was to blame, but himself. If you are truly passionate, you will always give 100% every time!
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”
How true is this? It doesn’t matter what you do, there are always parts of your job which are not fun. Myself included. Examples are admin, VAT returns, etc. These are those tedious things we always try and put off. However, when you love what you do, these things become manageable, and because you are passionate about life and your career, it makes these things so much easier to cope with.
Believe it or not, you even manage to smile while doing the tax returns, because you know you had fun earning that money. Just imagine for one minute you hated your job and everything about it, and still have to do taxes? Which option would you go for?
On that note, I trust I have helped you light the fire within yourself so that your passion in what you do brings you the success you deserve in your life.